Transformation –

Knowing that the Frog is one of my animal spirit guides for the time being, I don’t want to waste the lessons and guidance that are being brought to me so i’ve spent some time thinking about the frog’s transformation from tadpole to frog and what it is i can transform about myself.  In all honesty there is A LOT about me that needs improving lol however, one step at a time i think 🙂

One transformation that can make a big impact on my life is changing my negative thought patterns.  I can’t change this completely at the moment due to ‘others’ inside and their own negative thinking but i can work on my own issues.  I’ve allowed far too much time to negative thinking and all it has done is hold me back in life and i’ve found a couple of ways of starting to overcome this..ways that work for ‘me’ anyway!!

When i find negative thoughts starting to enter my mind i start singing a song.  This is something that can be done anywhere because even if you are out and about, you can do it silently in your head.  Having to consciously remember the words distracts my mind from those negative thoughts, they no longer have the room to build up out of proportion in my mind.  I still get voices from the others inside but at least it helps me to keep a check on my ‘own’ thoughts

Another way that works well for me is working with the Angels.  There are different ArchAngels connected to different days of the week, today..Wednesday, is ArchAngel Gabriel and his divine white ray.  When a negative thought enters my mind i imagine connecting to his divine white ray, imagine it surrounding my body and breathing it in.  Again, this stops negative thoughts from having room to take over my mind.  Interestingly, after I’d connected with ArchAngel Gabriel this morning, i heard the words ‘I am lord of the divine’.  I’m sure this is a message that will make more sense to me as time goes by 🙂

I’ve been wanting to get healthier for a while but have been struggling with this especially as i’ve wanted to exercise to lose weight but not getting very far with it.  The night before last i was trying Shamanic dreaming, this is where you say a few times in your mind before you go to sleep, what you would like answers too.  I did this with ‘what did i need to do to get healthy and lose weight’.  Nothing happened that night, i don’t remember dreaming anything, however, the next morning a random letter came from our doctors practice about quitting smoking, coincidence?? i think not!! I struggle to exercise because i’m out of breath due to the smoking so i was definitely being sent a sign.  This isn’t going to be an easy transformation though because smoking has been my best friend for a very long time.  It has always been the one constant in my life, when so many people have turned and walked away from me, my cigarettes have remained my faithful friend and have always been by my side.  I can turn to them in any crisis and they are always there, they never ridicule me, bully me, laugh at me or judge me.  I realise how ricidulous that sounds when the reality is that they are most probably killing me!! These are thought patterns that started as a child though and now i guess it’s time to change them and have a more suitable ‘crutch’ as someone in my 40’s.  I know others of ‘us’ smoke so for now i’ll just have to concentrate on my own thoughts about this!!

Thinking about smoking always being my friend has brought up things that hurt me for a long time.  Many people came into my life and went again because of seeing me as ‘strange’.  The D.I.D has major consequences on friendships, however, it wasn’t the only thing.  Many people have come into my life who have had their own problems.  We have become friends and i’ve been able to help them out in some way and then the friendship has drifted a part as they moved onto their ‘better’ life while i was left standing ‘still’ and hurt that they had gone.  This caused me to withdraw from people a fair bit because i didn’t want to get hurt by this anymore, i was missing a major thing here though.  In the last few days i’ve been reminded of my role in life as a ‘protector’.  Protector of what i’m not sure but part of that role has been to help people move forwards in their lives and i should have been focusing on the positive side of this rather than the negative.  The fact that the people have been able to move forwards is a wonderful thing and the part i’ve played in that (however small) is a good thing.  Anyone who knows me knows how much i beat myself up over things and always feel like a failure but if i  truly look at the bigger picture i can see that in reality, that’s not totally true.  I have done some good things in my life.  If i have been able to help people to move forward and they’ve walked away to better things then that is what it should all be about!! not me thinking about myself and feeling abandoned.  That’s just selfish.  I know where it comes from, it comes from childhood issues that people walking away bring forwards.  However, as part of my transformation now, it is time for me to welcome people into my life who i may be able to help and then, if they choose to not be connected to me anymore, then that’s ok, because they are on their own path and heading towards better things.  Of course, if any of my close friends walked away i’d be totally devastated and i truly hope that won’t happen.

I feel these transformations i’m talking about are achievable ones and i hope the Frog will stay by my side and help give me the courage to achieve these.  I know there will be conflicting posts on here about things said on this post, that is all part of D.I.D but seeing those conflicts is a good thing for me as it helps to see what issues others inside our body  have